Can you ever be too old or too poor to find true love?

If you have not yet watched the BBC3 documentary Secrets of China, set aside an hour and settle down for a real treat. As someone who spends hours engaging young people in talking about their hopes, dreams and fears for lasting, happy relationships, the episode Desperate for Love will provoke hours of interesting discussions and endless material for lesson plans and activities to add to the hundreds already on offer in the VR Virtual Resource Library to explore the huge differences between marriage and dating norms in China and the UK. For example, we were informed that to be considered eligible husband material in Bejing a man must own a house and a car and demonstrate that he is able to financially support their chosen partner. Wow!

Asking six young women the same question in the UK tonight revealed their top criteria for a man is that he should be good-looking and have a 'fit' body.

Money was not even mentioned, but is that a good or a bad thing? Are couples likely to be happier if they start off financially secure, or is being in love enough, even if it does mean that you have to pay for your own chips on a night out? It is certainly an interesting question to ask.

The documentary also reveals a derogatory term used in China for those not married by the age of 25 - 'leftover' which is in sharp contrast to UK statistics that show people are choosing to get married later and later, with no particular sell by date to add to the pressure of finding 'the one'. The only comparison I can think of is that old warning to young women about being 'always the bridesmaid and never the bride,' and I never found that terribly useful either - after all, what's the rush? A wedding might be the biggest (and most expensive) day of your life, but why bother until you are 100% sure that married life afterwards is going to be worth the investment.  

Meanwhile, parental concerns, the struggle for LGBTQ+ equality and and the rise of feminism across China to challenge what some women see as intolerable cultural pressure to get a ring on their finger were all explored sensitively to provide a programme that is fascinating, without being judgemental.  

One point that resonated for me is that at a stage in life where most UK young people (male and female) are still living at home with their parents, paying a nominal rent and arguing about keeping their rooms tidy, many of their Chinese peers are independent and employing cleaners to tidy their own flats. 

Is there a right and wrong way to search for true love?

Beautifully filmed and offered in an open and reflective style by my new favourite TV presenter Billie JD Porter, I simply loved it. Thank you - can't wait for next weeks episode.